Got a brother-in-law in L.A. He was originally a singer and actor, but has moved on to get his Docorate in Psychology. None of this is all that unusual, except that his specialty is dream interpretation. He even had a short-lived TV show on SciFi channel interpreting people's dreams.

Now I understand that our dreams have meaning. Hell, all...   more »

Hypothetical question (for men):.....   more »

So I was coming out of the movies the other night and stopped to go to the men's room. I looked down, and in the urinal was an un-popped kernel of popcorn.  I don't know why this occurred to me, but a I could think was, "That must have hurt."
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As I once wrote in Lawn of the Dead, I’ve probably had about three good lawn days in the time I’ve lived in my current humble abode. Well, today, I can boast, is Day Four. And it’s all because of shit. Eh? You see, early last winter, a plumbing condition in my house developed in which when the upstairs....   more »

Some things are great. The peak of human endeavor or creation. Michaelangelo’s David. Apollo 11. Stevie Ray Vaughn. Junior’s Cheesecake. My dog Izzy. My rib recipe.

Some things are terrible. Things that won’t kill you, but will lead to nothing but suffering. Domino’s pizza. Being a Jets, Mets, Knicks or Rangers fan. Kathy Griffin or Andy Dick. Reality TV. Country ...   more »

It’s a strange thing, holding someone’s hand, the other resting on their chest, while they take their last breath on Earth.

My dad died peacefully on Wednesday afternoon with my wife Kate and myself on either side of him. The last thing I know he heard from my lips was, “I love you, Dad. You’re the best.”

He was 93 ...   more »

I’ve always said that a person is either a result of their parents or a reaction to their parents. Most of us are probably a 90/10 mix of the result/reaction formula.

In my case, I am more reaction than result. My Dad was married 4 times in his life. He had 3 kids before he was 23 from his first ...   more »

“Rosebud.” the dying Charles Foster Kane whispered.

“I’m freezing.” my dad says to me.

I’m in the waiting room, ancient 19″ Sylvania hanging in the corner, Citizen Kane playing in the background. I’m alone right now, as my dad sits in one of the 20 recliners, tubes attached on one end to his arterial perma-cath (catheter), the other to the ...   more »

We flipped channels all night, CNN, MSNBC, ABC, Fox, CBS, NBC. My 16-year old son sat with the laptop, IM-ing and texting his friends, arguing politics. My 13-year old daughter watched also until Ohio was declared for Obama, and once I told her that pretty much sealed it, she went up to bed. My wife was feeling confident and had ...   more »

There are days I feel young, and there are days I feel old. Today is a gorgeous Memorial Day, and I've got a bit o'juice flowin.' Been up early and went food shopping for a coupla racks of big honkin'poke spareribs that I'm gonna BBQ up on the grill for some friends this evening. The yard's starting to look decent, ...   more »